


You are allowed to feel

by mileven_captainswan



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Happy, Lumax, Sad, what should have happened
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-14
Updated: 2020-03-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:41:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23141866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mileven_captainswan/pseuds/mileven_captainswan
Summary: Max is worried about Billy being flayed. She won't admit it though, until she's alone with her emotions and her emotions alone. She let's go of that wall and falls into the hole. Luckily, Lucas is there to catch her and to bring her back up again.---Aka: the Lumax scene we should have gotten but didn't.
Relationships: Maxine "Max" Mayfield/Lucas Sinclair
Comments: 5
Kudos: 28





	You are allowed to feel

Everyone gathered up together to talk and figure out what to do next at the Hopper cabin. As time goes by, everyone grows more and more worried and they need to do something before it’s too late. That’s why they have come up with a plan, well everyone except Mike who was quiet the whole time while they were coming up with the plan. El will be in her room and try to find the flayed or anything that can help them find the source. When they find the source they can end it once and for all.  
The whole crew is scattered around the infamous cabin. Mike, Lucas and Max are sitting on the couch each of them eating a sandwich that they made a couple of minutes ago. Lucas as per usual is eating cereal straight from the box alongside the sandwich. Jonathan, Will and Nancy are in the kitchen talking and eating their sandwich as well. They all need good amount of energy to beat this thing.

El is gathering all of the things she needs before heading to her room to do her task as everyone is eating. Mike glances at El every now and then incase she might need something. As Max watches El walk past her room and walks towards the bathroom, Max quickly takes a glance at her room, remembering something.

She gets up from the couch, leaving her half eaten sandwich and starts walking towards El, ignoring the glances she gets from the boys, especially Mike.  
El doesn’t notice Max, she is far too busy looking around the cabinets in the bathroom that she found El in.

”Hey El.” Max says as she carefully walks towards the girl.  
”Hey.” El says with a calm voice, looking at Max before continuing her search.  
”Listen I just remembered that I forgot my sunglasses here the other day. Mind me checking your room?” she asked calmly.  
El got a box of tissues out of the cabin and placed it on the sink before answering Max. She turned around.  
”No go right ahead. I need to find a few thing anyway so you go on.” El replied warmly.  
”Thanks” Max said before heading out of the bathroom and into El’s room.

It was a nice room. Very girly, not her style but it felt homey and warm when she stepped in the room. She looked around the room to try to find them. A couple of seconds later, she found them right beside her bed, under her nightstand. She must have dropped them when they came back from the mall when they had their sleepover.  
She goes to grab her glasses and turns around to walk out of her room before she notices something. On her dresser, there were a couple of photos scattered around. They were pictures of some of the flayed she was supposed to find. One of them being a picture of Billy.  
Max sighs before walking slowly towards the dresser. She grabs the picture of Billy and slowly walks back and falls back on El’s bed.

Why did this have to happen to Billy? Why Billy? She knows she doesn’t have the greatest relationship with him, nor is he a good person but she can’t help being this way. Being sad and angry for this to happen to him. A part of her can’t stop the way she feels about this situation. But a part of her is angry at herself for feeling this way. How can she feel anything for a man like Billy? How can she be sad when he has done so many bad things to her and other people? How can she feel the littlest ounce of empathy when he tried to hurt her and her friends? Lucas? How can she feel anything? It kinda makes her feel disgusted of herself. They way she gets this shade of worry and protectiveness to the brother who never made her feel safe or protected.

Granted Billy did back off when Max made it clear that she wasn’t going to handle his abuse anymore. But that doesn’t mean that he became a loving and caring brother. He was still a jerk and a dick to her but in a smaller scale. So if he was still suck a compulsive and selfish asshole, why did she feel this towards him?

* * *

Lucas notices Mike’s worry glances towards El from time to time. Believe it or not, he actually gets that feeling. Being worried about the person you love, to constantly put themselves out there, in danger, that might just make someone a tad worried. He didn’t really say anything but he thinks that using El like this might not be the best idea. But who is he to say anything? No this is probably for the best he thinks before giving himself a mental shake. Coming back to reality, he notices how Max has been gone for a while now. He gets up and heads to El’s room as that is where he saw her go to last.  
He was going to say something to Mike but he got the message and gave him a nod before Lucas walked towards his friend’s room.

When he got in there he looked around before finding her sitting on El’s bed, her face down and a picture in her hands. Looking closely he sees what picture it is and realizes why she wasn’t coming out.

Lucas slowly walks towards Max. She doesn’t notice him until he sits down on the bed. She sees him and quickly wipes a tear that was coming down her face and puts the picture away.

”What are you doing here, stalker?” Max asked with a soft voice. A voice she has never used unless it’s with him. That is something that Lucas loves. How Max opens her soft side to him and only him. Yeah sure she is all tough and feisty towards everyone and himself, but sometimes, in the right moment, he is allowed to see her gentle side.

”What are _you_ doing Max? You have been sitting her for a while now.”  
”I um, I… I was looking for these.” she says and pulls up her glasses.  
”I had lost them here so I came to look for them.” she said with a small smile.  
”Oh really.” he says with a sheep smile.  
”Then what is this?” he says slowly, his left arm reaching around her to grab the photo she placed to her left. Max quickly tried to grab the photo but because of Lucas’ quick acts, she couldn’t catch up with him. He shows off the picture and then notices how Max just breaks. She doesn’t cry but she looks broken.  
”Hey hey, Max.” he said and dropped the photo on the bed, the tiny space between them.  
”What’s going on?” he asked gently, holding her shoulders, making her face him.  
”I’m… I’m sorry, Lucas.” Max replied with a small whisper.  
”Sorry? What are you sorry for?” Lucas asked with concern to his girlfriend.  
”Billy… I… I know he is a dickhead and that he is a- a horrible person.”  
”What? Max no you don’t have to blame yourself for being worried about Billy.”  
”Why not Lucas? He’s an asshole, I- I mean he tried to hurt you!! He tried to hurt El. And I still feel sad. Like he didn’t deserve this.”  
”That’s because he _didn’t._ Max listen to me.” He said and made Max look at him.  
”No one deserves to be flayed or to be apart of any of that. I know your brother isn’t the best. He sucks, yeah I agree. But that doesn’t mean that he deserves to be in this mess. No one does. So for you to feel this way… It’s not wrong. You are allowed to feel sorry and you are allowed to show sympathy towards your brother. After all, he is your brother. Even if he doesn’t show that brotherly side towards you. He has still been in your life for a long time. No matter how he has been in your life, you can’t help yourself to be worried and sad for him.”

Max didn’t say anything else. She looked at his face. The face that has always brought her happiness. The face that always made her smile. The face that always made her laugh.  
Looking deep into his eyes, she sees warmth, love and care. For her. It makes her realize that Lucas doesn’t deserve the torment she keeps giving him. Sure when she breaks up with him, it’s never really serious. But he never gives up on her. Even if she is completely wrong about something, he never goes away. He always comes back. And now with everything that has been going on, her brother being flayed, he is still there for her. Making sure that she is okay.

”Okay.” she sighed and rested her head on his shoulder, breathing in his scent. He didn’t say anything. They just sat in silence for a while before she continued.

”I’m sorry.” she said while she lifted her head from his shoulder.  
”For what?” he replied and looked at her.  
”For breaking up with you all the time. And then make you buy things.” she said.  
”You didn’t make me buy anything. I did that myself.”  
”Yeah or I wouldn’t get back together with you.”  
”Fairplay.”  
”Dumbass.”  
”Fartface.”  
”Okay enough.” she laughed and continued. ”I’m just trying to say that it wasn’t right of me to break up with you everytime we disagree or fight or anything. It wasn’t fair to you. So I’m sorry.” she said and looked at him and hoped that he would be able to forgive her.

Instead, he just looked at her and smiled. That smile that always warms her up. No matter how cold it is, as long as he smiles, she will be warm enough. But Max was still confused. Why is he smiling at her?

”What? Why are yo-” but she couldn’t finish her sentence, because there and then. Lucas decides to kiss her.

Oh.

_Oh._

Max can’t even begin to think any rational thoughts. All she feels is his lips. It’s like whenever they kiss, any coherent thought just disappeared. She just melted into the kiss and got lost in him. She didn’t realize how long they were sitting on El’s bed kissing. It could’ve been seconds or minutes but eventually they heard a knock on the door and immediately broke the kiss to see who was at the door.

El was standing there with a box of tissues and her blindfold wrapped around her neck. She just smiled at them before she talked.

”I’ll just put these here and give you a minute.” she said and put her stuff down and closed the door behind her before she left the room.

They looked at each other before bursting out laughing. Max leaned her head against his.  
”Thanks for the talk, stalker.” Max said while she rested her head on his.  
”No problem, MadMax.” he replied.

They sat there for another minute. Lucas got up and took a hand out for Max that she happily took. She turned around and took her glasses, taking another glance at the picture. Max sighed before remembering what Lucas said and gave herself a mental shook. She smiled at him and they both walked through the door.

Nothing about any of this was okay. But Lucas was right. Everything in one way or not, will be okay.


End file.
